How relationship experts knew they found ‘the one’

"When you know, you know." That's the conventional wisdom when it comes to figuring out if the person you're dating is the person you'll be with in the long, long term. But when and how does that seemingly elusive feeling of assurance strike? Relationship counsellors tell us how you can be sure that you are dating the right person. 

1. We never ran out of things to say: "On our third date, we met in the late afternoon for drinks, then saw a movie, followed by a long, leisurely dinner. Then we decided to walk all night. First to a cafe, then to a bar and then just up and down the road. It was 6 am when we got backHOME. Not once did we get bored or run out of things to say. I knew then that 10, 20, 30 years out, we'd still be talking, laughing, keeping life afresh and interesting. And we are" — Winifred Reilly, marriage and family therapist

2. What she lacked, he had in spades: "I knew my husband was 'The One' during our first real date, which was a trip we took together. He navigated us around in aRENTAL CAR, which was impressive since I have no directional capacity at all. He also was very gentle when rubbing sunscreen on me, which I liked because I thought it meant he was kind and a caretaker. I was right!" —Dr. Samantha Rodman, psychologist

3. The relationship felt totally,COMPLETELY right: "My wife and I met in high school, we broke up on graduation, but rekindled the relationship in our senior year of college. She had theOPPORTUNITY to study abroad, and I spontaneously decided to join her for a year. We decided to take a trip and on the plane, my exhausted wife-to-be fell into a deep sleep. I looked over at her slumbering form, and I was hit by an overwhelming feeling of rightness -— that for once in my life, I was in the right place, at the right time, with the right person. — Dr. Karl Pillemer, relationship professional

4. It was love at first sight — no doubt about it: "I knew my husband was the one at first sight. I know that sounds crazy, but we were set up and had been talking on the phone for nearly a month. Each time we'd connect by telephone, we'd talk for hours. He knew so much about me before we ever met face-to-face, and before we left dinner that night, we both knew we'd never be with another person again."— Fawn Weaver, author and relationship counsellor

5. Their chemistry was off the charts: "I knew my husband was the right one for me on date number four. The electricity wouldn't stop. I swear, I got electric butterflies every time I would think of him. The PDA (public display of affection) was getting a little ridiculous that night and I told him, 'You're the man of my dreams.' He said, 'Wow, that's a lot to live up to.' I was actually trying to not be in a relationship for a long time, but there was no denying this intense chemistry." — Marina Sbrochi, author

6. HisSUCCESS was hers too: "When I whispered to her, 'They let me in [to a psychotherapy graduate program]' her face radiated joy. More than I did at the time, she understood what this could mean to me and to us. Up until that moment, the future of my career was vague. She knew that this possibility of me becoming a psychotherapist had my name written all over it. Her assurance made her the one for me."

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